Let me off this Roller Coaster

Yesterday was a bad day. I was feeling down, down. Up until now on this cleanse I've been feeling pretty good. I've been planning my meals, I've been logging everything in My Fitness Pal and really felt like I had everything under control. Yesterday I hit a wall. I was feeling so bloated from all the fiber rich food I've been putting in my body that if some of it didn't get out soon I felt like I was going to explode.

I wasn't really craving anything off plan but I can't help but wonder if the detoxing I've been doing to kick my addiction to the white stuff was finally coming to a head. I mean, since I went out with a bang last week with donuts, French fries and chips was my body like  hey b*tch where's all the "good" stuff. You don't expect me to live on all these fruits, nuts and veggies forever do you? no one can live without a good dose of fried fat with a sprinkling of sugar?

I was also beating myself up for not working out. This weekend I took Colt on 2 walks and was able to get in a quick workout. Not bad right?

But once the workdays hit I slept in. I told myself to get up and when I didn't I thought oh well, you can still do it tonight when you get home. Psssshhh I guess I forgot I have a 2 month old. So for whatever reason I felt the whole day was wasted.

(On a completely vain note, my hair is a HOT MESS right now and I can't wait until I get it fixed on Thursday. So on top of beating myself up I also don't feel pretty.)

Last night I went to bed super early. Just being awake thinking about what a "failure" I've been lately depressed me. I know I need to make this whole health and fitness thing a life style change. I told myself last night to take it 1 day at a time and that tomorrow is a new day.

A new day indeed. Today I got up, fed the monster and got in a work out all before 6:30. And I'm feeling pretty good about myself. Today's gonna be a good day.

Milk Cow Blues

Well, my career as a milk cow is officially over. I'm kinda, sorta, not really sad about it. I mean, when I had Colt my initial goal was to do it at all. Then I wanted to do it while I was at home, then I wanted to do it until the end of the year. I guess my body has told me I've done enough.

I know people say you feel this magical bond with your baby when you breastfeed, and I did, but I also was doing it out of convenience. It's easy to pick him up and stick him on your boob when he's hungry. Much easier than waiting for a bottle of pumped milk to warm up at 2:00am.

I knew I'd just know when the time was right to quit. One day last week, I was trying to feed him and after an hour of both of us getting frustrated I had to supplement with formula. It's just not worth it anymore. He needs more to eat and I'm making less. It's more important to satisfy his needs than to make sure I make it to another "goal". I tried pumping at work and feeding him when I got home but it's almost like my body said it's over, you did what you had to do.

I mean, some people can't do it at all. Or their baby doesn't latch. Or they have a hard time with mastitis and clogged ducts. I didn't have any problems and he ate like a champ, I just finally quit producing. He was so little when he was born it's amazing to think that I was solely responsible for feeding him and helping him gain weight back and blow past his birth weight in the 2 months he was exclusively on breastmilk. A woman's body is truly amazing.

1 week old

7 weeks old

 



I'm using the last of my pumped milk to supplement the formula he's now on. I know it's the best thing for him now and that's what I have to keep in mind. I wasn't expecting to feel a little sad about it. I mean, he needed me and only me for a while there. Now anybody can pick up a bottle and feed him. It also frees us up some. All I have to pack now is formula and a bottle and not worry about keeping my breastmilk cold or making sure I can pump if we're going to be gone longer than a few hours. (I can also get my drink on and not worry about testing my milk... holla!)

It was nice will it lasted but it's nice that it's over too. It just reminds me of how fast time flies and how quickly life changes with this little guy. It's all worth it and I'm loving every minute of it.

10 weeks old

Initial Thoughts on the Cleanse

So I’m a couple of days into the cleanse. So far, it isn’t too bad. I did a good job of planning and prepping this weekend. This is my first time having my whole week planned out so each day and I can just grab my food and go. I do sometimes have to call an audible and do my best when life happens. Like today, I ended up with the Boss at lunch and he wanted to have Italian. I ended up with some grilled chicken and veggies tossed in marinara sauce. Not bad right? (even though Fatty wanted chicken and pasta tossed in creamy gorgonzola cheesy goodness with maybe a sprinkle of bacon)

 That fiber drink is rough! Whew! I mixed it with a little bit of Tropicana 50 OJ and it made it go down smoother. I also blended it with a little bit of ice so I could convince myself the consistency was from blended ice and not roots and tree bark or whatever is pulverized into the mix. I have to be honest; I was worried about all that fiber at once, especially after reading the title of Holly’s post. I get some pretty good action from a Fiber One Bar but so far it’s been ok. I was really pretty full all day but still ate my snacks and light lunch I had planned.
 

I like the Mango/Strawberry spark. I only had it before breakfast and since I don’t drink much caffeine during the day that was enough for me. I do have an emergency stash with me though.

 Workouts have been non-existent. I was using the little monster as my alarm clock but fortunately he’s been sleeping until 6. So while I’m thankful for a little extra sleep, I’m going to have to set my alarm if I want to get my ass up and moving before he wakes up.

That’s it for now, nothing too exciting. I’ll check back in a couple of days.

All Aboard!

The little monster is 2 months old so I guess it's time I ditched my pregnancy cravings.  I didn't really crave anything specific but if I wanted it I had it. Like if I was driving around thinking Ya know what sounds good... an ice cream sandwich? I had to have it. Now, I have these cravings all the time for sugary, salty, spicy anything but most of the time I can convince my inner fatty that I really don't need it. When I was pregnant I gave myself the green light. Baby was hon-gray for some Hot Fries. Don't judge me!

 Before I got prego, I loved to work out. I love boot-camp style/HIIT outdoor workouts and I really try to love running. I also liked to drink beer and eat so I can't say I was exactly fit and trim but I'm not a couch potato either. I worked out throughout most of the pregnancy until the end and ended up only gaining 23lbs. I've already lost it but I am no where near where I want to be. I'm softer and clothes fit tighter in different places. I need to get my ass back in gear.

 

 

I decided I'd try the Advocare 10-day Cleanse since I've heard so much about it from other bloggers. Little did I know Holly and Mel are starting it too. So, I've officially jumped on their crazy train and will blog my progress. Yikes!

 

My order was supposed to be here today but will be delivered tomorrow instead. BUT I'm already ahead. I've planned out all my meals, grocery shopped and prepped for the next 5 days. Who is this girl?! Since I had everything going I started on my meal plan today. So eating-wise, I'll be 2 days in before the official cleanse begins....hopefully.. that way if I get another ice cream sandwich itch, I can still scratch it. hold up fatty...

 

Since the little monster is getting up at or around 5 I'm going to start working out after I feed him. He's an alarm clock you can't snooze through.

 

Well, that's that. Here we go, all aboard the crazy train.

 



Work, Work, Work

Well, back to the grind. I can't believe it's been a month since I posted. Wait.. yes I can. Things are so cray right now. The little monster is 2 months old! Wowza! I haven't even updated anything about him. Here's a couple of  pics:

 

 

BAM! He's eating and sleeping and pooping and that's about it. Actually he's starting to smile a little.

He's the cutest little monster out there! I swear he changes every day.

And now I'm back at work... Boooo!

Actually I'm glad to be back...kinda. I loved staying home with him but I couldn't do it full time. I was getting a little cabin fever.

Introducing Colt Leif Boen!

I know it's been a while but I've been getting used to having a newborn at home. I'm finally ready to tell his birth story. Here goes!

At my weekly appointment, Dr H asked if I was ready to have this baby and like the badass I felt like I was I said HELL YEAH! Let's do this! He said ok, I'll get you scheduled for next week. Umm wait... what?? NEXT Week?!? Next thing I know, we're on the books to come in on Sunday night to start the induction process. YIKES!!

We were scheduled to go in at 5 on Sunday night. In my attempt to stall, I had one last picture taken.

I was excited, nervous, crying, laughing, nesting and everything in between. I'm pretty sure it was one of the longest days of my life.

We got in on Sunday night and got settled into our room. Don't I look relaxed??

After getting the IV started, taking a ton of blood and adjusting the monitors on me, the nurses came rushing back in. Colt's heart rate had decelerated. They flipped me a few times and everything was back to normal. They said I was having a few contractions but nothing big yet and he could have been on his cord. They said they'd continue to monitor it and explained to KB what the monitor print outs meant.

They put in a catheter to help me dilate. When it fell out at 1am I was successfully dilated to a 4. So we made progress before starting pitocin at 6am. Shortly after they started the pit, nurses came rushing in again. Colt's heart rate dipped again. This time they flipped me, started oxygen and had both me and KB pretty nervous. It was scary but we were both thankful the nurses were on top of everything. Dr H came in at 7 and said if it dipped again they were going to take him. No questions asked, I had a long way to go and he didn't seem to be tolerating contractions very well. Kb started watching the monitors and said "Hmm it looks like it's going down again". Sure enough nurses were back in and called the doc who said to get me into surgery STAT.

Wowza! Not at all what I expected. I really felt like I was mentally prepared for the labor and delivery process but I WAS NOT prepared for a C Section. I kept saying this wasn't part of the plan!!

They got me into surgery, put in the spinal, strapped me down and we were ready to go. While all that was going on, they gave KB his scrubs and told him to wait for them to come get him. As long as the spinal took ok, he could be in the room. He said it was about 10-15 minutes but felt like an hour. Dr H came rushing in and we got started. Dr H told KB he couldn't see anything behind the curtain and he needed to look over to see what all was going on. (Dr H and KB have become pretty close during this whole process) Luckily my friend who is a labor and delivery nurse was in there and could talk me through everything. Dr H said "There you are you little shit! Just like I suspected, the damn cord was wrapped around his neck!!"

At 9:32am on August 5, 2013, our son was here! Despite his rushed delivery, he was a healthy 5lbs 2 ounces 19 inches long! I couldn't wait to see him. I got stitched up and KB carried him to the recovery room.

We came home on Wednesday, August 7, and recovery has been pretty rough. But this post is long enough for now. I'll try to update more often. Just know he's perfect and we fall more in love everyday!

The Final Countdown

So I've been busy.. Shoot me. Here's a quick update... I'm still pregnant and it's July in Texas so it's hot as balls.

Actually, we're officially in the less than 1 month countdown to 'D' day. I can't believe it. As much as I was worried about everything, so far it really hasn't been that bad. I haven't been sick, I haven't put on a ton of weight (about 20ish pounds so far), energy level has been pretty decent considering my situation and I haven't had any wacky pregnancy symptoms like leakage from every orifice. Here's what's been going down since I last posted...

• We have had a couple of showers. 1 was thrown by my good girlfriends and another by my sister in law.

The Girls:

Me & Mom:

KB and I are really pretty blessed to have such great friends and family around us.

• I have to say, I'm about over this whole pregnancy business. While it hasn't been that bad it hasn't exactly been fun either. I'm ready to get on with my new normal. I don't know if you're ever really ready to have your baby home with you but I'm definitely ready to NOT be pregnant.
• I have the best Husband ever. Kb has been pretty sweet throughout this. He's gone to every Dr appointment with me. Listened to me whine about whatever random pain I'm having or whatever fear I have. He's taken good care of me making sure I'm resting, or I'm cool or I have something cold to drink when we're out and about. He even came home last night and baked me an angel food cake. WHAT?!? Love him.
• I'm ready to get my energy back. I hate going home to rest. I'm usually up and around doing something. Working on the house, working out (I REALLY miss having the energy to work out) but I'm trying to listen to my body and if it says rest I do it. Now's not the time to push myself or try to be a hero.
• I'm obsessed with reading about labor and delivery. I read through all the horrible ones until I find one that the epidural worked, labor only lasted for a few hours and the baby was out in a couple of pushes. That's the story I'm going for.
• I'm kinda in the zone. I'm doing prenatal yoga, listening to meditation and relaxation cds, I'm making lists for things I need at the hospital or at home, contacting insurance companies, the hospital, my daycare I've set up, the pediatrician and whoever else needs to know our little man will be here soon. 

Guess that's all I've got for now. Stay tuned and keep cool.