Surviving the Wine & Food Fest

Wine & Food Fest was this weekend. We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day!! It benefits the humane society so there were all kinds of fuzzy friends around. SiL and I took 2 rookies to the Fest this weekend and as veterans we gave them a little advice on surviving the 4 hour wine tasting marathon (ha! get it?? see how I made this a running post without posting about running??). I could see there were many rookies in our midst. This was evidenced by the numerous Rookie mistakes. I thought I'd use this post to let you all know some do's and don'ts in order to survive the Wine & Food Fest in Wacko if you ever make it here. Feel free to adjust these tips to your local Wine tasting...


Do - Use the shuttle, don't try to squeeze your way into a parking lot that with your wine haze at the end you can't get out of. Park in the open parking lot and let the shuttle do the hard work of not hitting any of the drunks stumbling around outside of the event.


Do - Remember it is a marathon, not a sprint. You have 4 hours of tasting all the wine you can sip. Pace yourself.


Do - Remember that WINE is before FOOD in the event. This means there's a LOT more wine than there is food. Grab a couple of tastings then move your @ss over to the food tent and build a good base before it's all gone.


Do - Feel free to grab cheese, chocolate truffles, cake samples or mouse to take back to the Wine tents in order to try pairings.


Don't - bring your 12 week old twins to the Wine Tasting. Or any other age children. It's about WINE and lots of it. If you don't plan on getting hammered a lot of other people do! and children scare drunks as much as drunks scare children. If you do bring your baby, try not to get a picture posted on the local trib website with you holding him AND your wine glass in the same hand. classy


Don't - puke at the table. Even if the event is outside, and you're trying to hide it by hurling under the table, seriously, try to make it to the bathroom.


Do - Dress appropriately. It's outside, in the afternoon, at the Art Center. No hoochie shorts or skirts please. Watch your heels, the grass and ground could be damp and you're probably drunk. Trust me no one wants to see your hoohah and the guys that are there aren't there alone so don't even try hookers. I mean, what straight man would go to a Wine Tasting at the Art Center when Texas-OU is on if their wife or girlfriend didn't make them.


Don't - fall out of the shuttle when it takes you back to your car only to be carried out by your friends. This is a hazard to others and more importantly to other's pants. SiL was laughing so hard when this one chic's wheels fell out from under her I thought she was going to piss herself.


Don't - get all sloshed on wine and decide to just go check out the dogs for adopting. You'll end up going home with a dog with wheels for back legs or something. You've done your part with your donation when you bought your ticket. Leave the dogs alone in your drunken stupor. Only adopt when sober.


Well, that about covers it. I swear I could make millions if I could come up with a red wine that didn't turn your teeth purple. Check out the pictures on the trib. No, I didn't make it in any of them. I'm sure I was too busy eating and boozing it up to track down the photographer.
Good times, Good Friends and Good Wine.



I'm out of town for a conference the rest of this week and go back to the ortho doc on Monday to get the diagnosis. Cross your fingers, say a prayer, light some sage, that I'll be able to run in San Antonio.