Confession Time

Confession #1: I've been a bad blogger. I thought with this pregnancy I'd have so much to say but in the words of my OB I'm fortunately "having a 'boring' pregnancy". I haven't been sick, I haven't had any crazy cravings, I don't have any weird pains to speak of, hair isn't popping up in strange places, the ultrasound showed a healthy baby boy who is right on track.

Confession #2: I'm OBSESSED with other pregnant women. When I was in Babies R Us the other day I was fascinated with all the pregnant women in there in all their various stages. I started comparing myself to them. Do I look like that? Will I look like THAT? I can't get enough of pregnant bloggers and pregnant celebrities. It's crazy that no matter where you are in life or what you do if you're going to have a baby, you have to be pregnant, unless you adopt or surrogate of course, but someone has to be pregnant for 9 months. actually it's 10 but who's counting. I find myself wondering about their cravings and what their pregnancy is like.

Confession #3: I'm scared to death to be a parent and I'm afraid I have no idea what I'm doing. When I'm looking around obsessing about other pregnant women I find myself looking at moms of LOs. Some of them I think, wow, if they can do it I can too. I mean, women, a lot younger than me with a lot less education and life experience have had their children and they've been fine. So I can do it too right? My friends have repeatedly told me, Jenn don't worry so much. It's actually pretty crazy how your instinct kicks in. I promise you'll be fine. I told a friend about my anxiety about being around a newborn and how I haven't had that much practice with one. She said something that really hit home "My son's going to be 13 this year, I don't have any practice with a teenager. I'm STILL learning as I go" I think I'm just putting too much pressure on myself to be "perfect" when I really need to just remember to do the best I can and trust my instincts. Things are going to go wrong and there are going to be times where I don't know what to do but I just have to learn from everything.

Confession #4: I've been really slacking on my workouts. It's not that I go home and park my ass on the couch, we're just really busy. Right now it's so pretty outside we've been going fishing almost every night. I love that time with my husband and know this time next year we'll have a little one and maybe we can't go and do like we do now so I'm savoring every moment. For our anniversary this week, we made sandwiches and had a sunset picnic on the boat. It was peaceful and lovely.

Confession #5: I'm up 5lbs in the past month.  I'm pretty sure I put on 5 pounds last week when we were in Galveston for a work conference. We entertained clients everynight. Momma ate really well. My favorite was Gaido's one night which was AMAZING. (Thanks for the suggestions Crissy!) I told my Dr this when he told me to "pull it back" a little. He said he appreciated my honesty since most women just tell him "Shut up doc, Momma hon-gray" Also confession #4 doesn't help.

Confession #6: I'm putting off the nursery. I guess I think no nursery, no baby. Like he's just going to wait for his room to be finished before he makes his appearance. For some reason I'm having a hard time getting it together. I've picked out the bedding which is super cute I think, but that's as far as I've gone. Friends and family are putting showers together so I guess we need to get registered somewhere. I don't have a clue what all I need. While I've finally embraced my pregancy now I'm having trouble accepting it and getting my shit togehter. It'll happen I guess.

Confession #7: I can't stop reading about pregnancy. I'm one of those people that like to be informed. I want to know if whatever I'm experiencing is normal. I'm NOT one of those people who won't go outside because the sun causes skin cancer. I'm not a hypochondriac I just like to be "in the know". I've talked to my Dr about being honest with me. I'm a tough broad and I know I can handle the truth. If somehing's going to suck, let me know it's going to suck and what we can do to make it suck less. Now that I'm over the 1/2-way point I'm reading about labor and deliveries. I'll admit I'm afraid of the unknown but most of what I've read is people saying it's not as bad as they thought. Sure there are those horror stories out there and I understand that ANYTHING can happen so I'm just taking everything in and hoping for the best. One of my favorite things I've read is when a couple were recounting their son's birth story and the wife said "I can't believe we remember the same day so differently. I don't remember it being that bad but he says he doesn't know if he can go through it again" I think it's funny how God gives moms mom-nesia about the pain and suffering of childbirth but not dads. Eve may be getting "punished" for eating that apple but joke's on you Adam. HA! Anywhoo..

Well, that's it for now. No name yet, we've got a solid maybe but we're still test driving it to see if it sticks.